A Modest proposal:The Race For a Prom Date
It’s almost that special time of the year when High school seniors (specifically females) finally put down their backpacks, get all fancied up and go to their Prom. Yes, Prom! That highly influential dance that requires its goers to have a date. It has become the social phenomenon for seniors to not only spend hundreds of dollars on their outfits, shoes, and hair, nails, and makeup for females; but, for them to also hunt for a date before the clock strikes twelve on that glorious day. It is just absolutely uncommon for a beautifully dressed teenage girl to enter the doors of the Prom without a male accompanying her for the entire night and vice versa. The hustle for a Prom date has already begun and it has been a wonderful pre-excitement for this occasion; as it raises the hopes of the bystanders by allowing them to believe that they too will receive an over the top ‘Promposal’. Let alone even be asked to Prom.
I believe that this confusion should not only continue, but should with a little monetary action. For the shy and the nervous but fairly wealthy, I propose that Prom date candidates should be auctioned off to the highest bidder a week before the Prom (this will allow them enough time to get to know each other). Instead of trying to win him or her over with roses or a violinist, an auction will be conducted which will allow the candidates to be observed and then rented for that special night. The cost should not be a problem of course, since as money is already being spilled to make sure that their attire is the absolute best and latest fashion. This, then, will just be a minor (or maybe not) addition to the list. And as it is essential for males to ask females, they will be the ones auctioned off to the highest male bidders, and every girl must go!
Unfortunately, if by any chance a female is not chosen (this is very much likely to happen) she will not be discarded from the auction nor go to her Prom alone. Instead she will be allowed to choose a date for herself from the group of Unwanted Anonymous Aspiring Male Prom Date Candidates (UAAMPDC): there is simply always a backup plan. This surprising change of fate will allow one of the ‘not muscular enough’ or ‘super-duper unattractive’ guys to also score a date for prom. It is very important that not only the males are happy with their merchandise but also the females who are unfortunately not chosen. However, if all females are sold during the auction, then the few ‘unknown’ gentlemen who are left stranded will just have to forget about Prom all together and hope for the best in their future endeavors. See Prom is not a one-woman or man show. Without a date it is pointless to even think about the thought of thinking about going. No one can simply buy a dress or tux, buy their ticket, get ready for Prom and just go; not if they are alone that is.
Therefore I strongly believe that this is the best option for ladies when it comes to finding a Prom date because it assures them a ticket and also helps in boosting their confidence (if they are purchased by a Prince Charming that is). On the other hand, some may be auctioned off to an enemy. It may be their revengeful ex-boyfriend or a guy they detest but they will just have to suck it up because this is the surest way to make it through that golden door. In the end it will all be worth it: no more weeping over guys or gals who don’t even acknowledge their existence and they, whoever they are, will be guaranteed a date as there are no refunds or backing outs.
